Six years relationship (2)

Hello guys!!!

Welcome to another exciting weekend, and thank God it's Friday.

I will be discussing about our last discussion, about a lady that invested six years of her life to a relationship, or still investing, and she's very tired and needs an urgent advice, because according to her she is very or feel lost and feel suffocated in the relationship and needed an advice.

I received alot of mails concerning the advice I gave to her and most of the mails were about my quote (a broke guy has no business in being in a relationship).

I received alot of mails concerning this, saying na broke we broke oh, we no kill person,. (A quote from atleast 5 guys 😀).

Bros, I think we had a miscommunication on this, what I said was that a guy that want to be in a relationship should be able to take care of his own personal needs, before extending his hands on a relationship, you can't be broke with no income and then being in a relationship.

At least if you are going into a relationship, please make sure you can take care of your basic needs.

Dear sis, I can feel your pain through your writing, and it's obvious you love and want the best for him.

So here's what we are doing, you will arrange a meeting between you two, then ask him where your relationship is going

Now here's a trick, when a guy tells you immediately he has money or get a job is marrying you in that his condition, my dear sister, I hope am communicating, start giving other guys chance,

Because men like that are not serious and they will keep wasting your time .

And immediately he got a better job, you are a goner, he will never ever settle down with you, yes you heard me right, because by then you won't be his specks.

Note :- Iam not saying it's not good to suffer with a guy, suffer with a guy that has a potential, someone that's very hard working, and trying all his possible best to be somebody in life, not someone that said he can't settle for a salary of 60k and yet find it so easy to settle with his girlfriend 60k salary, that's a selfish man right there.

And he doesn't want to work, a hard working man, will start a hustling job, just to put food on his own table and not depend on his girl money.

Infact a very hard working man will be so ashamed to collect money from his girl, and the lady will be the one forcing him to take.

And this is for you dear sister, no matter how much you love a man, do not, never offer to carry his responsibility, yes you are his girlfriend, not his parents, and you have your own life to live, do not ever displease yourself, just because you want to please someone, live your own life, they will either meet you half way, or go, their choice to make.

Iam not saying you shouldn't or can't help your boyfriend/girlfriend, but not at the detriment of your own happiness. Love with your eyes and brain open,

If that man married you, believe me you will be shouldering all the house responsibility and by then it will be far worst, because it will be triple, this is just an iceberg, compare to when you are both married.

That's my blunt and honest answer and I do wish you all the best dear sis, please don't forget to let me know the outcome of your meeting. Love you now and always.


I will be dropping my pen here today, thanks so much for always sending in mails and for your advice, thanks so much, these are really appreciated.

Don't forget to comment and send in your mail, if you need an opinion about anything, and we will always be here to help.

For advice, counseling, sessions, please contact
temmybuhnmy@gmail.com
temmybuhnmy@outlook.com

Love you guys.....

Six years relationship

Hello guys!!!!

Welcome to another exciting month and week, and my prayers for us all is that it's should favour us all.

I received this mail and it's urgent and need an urgent reply, and she said she want my blunt reply on this (😀), okay am snapped back to seriousness,  below is her mail .

Hello bunmi!!

Great job you are doing, please this is urgent and I need your urgent advice.

have been dating my guy for the past six years, as a matter of facto, this December makes it six years.

 We started dating since I was in senior class and am now a working class lady earning 60k, everything is perfect on my own end as at now. But not on his.

Ever since he left school, he has never worked, he said he can't do a job of 60-70k, because he has distinction, for almost six years now, he's been looking for a job worth 300-500k.

Bunmi  see not that I don't have faith in him, but my philosophy in life is when you appreciate something small, then the bigger doors open, am so confused, time is not on my side and am 28yrs now, I can't cope with this forever, from my own small salary,.that's what both of us has been managing from since three years now, and due to this I don't even have any savings...


I need your blunt and honest reply pls thanks

First of all, I need to commend you on your patients, it's so rare to see your kind, and that's a fact, especially in this our present world, that some ladies have three their cautions out of their windows and have done or doing all sort to ride Benz so well done.

Secondly a broke guy has nooooo business in being in a relationship, am so sorry, but this is the bitter truths, it's can never work out, when I say broke I don't mean he has to be a billionaire or a  millionaire, I meant a guy that can take care of himself and his personal needs, before offering to care for another person,

And thirdly your guy is a lazy type, he can't work or collect a salary of 60-70k, and yet he find it convenient to share your own 60k salary with you.

His a very proud fellow, who has allowed his distinction to get to his brain, and this has made him to loose so many opportunities, because he's not ready to learn and be under anyone, he want to start from the big post of ogas, which can't work in Nigeria working places.

He really need to forget distinction, infact, I have two friends that came out with that same distinction and yet work and earn 50k,

And lastly this is for you, I think in your 20's you should be building your own career and how to be a boss, no offence, you want my bluntness and this is it, because if you had been building your own future and your career, you won't ever settle for less, by putting up with such a man, and be comfortable to stay with 60k salaries and call it okay, do not get me wrong, am not saying it's bad, it's very good, but if you had put all those energy and time you invested in that six years relationship, into a business, am sure you will be a millionaire by now..

I will be stopping here today and till we meet again, I will be discussing what you need to do to make him a serious fellow.

Till then, have a great week and yes I love you, yes you

For comment pls contact temmybuhnmy@gmail.com or temmybuhnmy@outlook.com

Bye

People's Reactions

Hello guys!!!

Another exciting beautiful week.
I will be discussing about people's review on my last post (  confused soul 2 ) what they said anonymously...

Anonymous 1


Dear temmy,

Great job, you are doing.

Not all men, don't like virgin, I as a person am crazy about a virgin and when I meet one it's definitely a keep for me.


Anonymous 2

Hi temi

Guess you good? I know am not supposed to discuss about this virgin of a thing, because apparently that's not the discussion at hand,but I can't help but share my experience, I had to let go of my exgirl, I met her a V, and it was really difficult having s&k with her, because I had to teach her everytime, I got tired and left, am with a crazy girl presently and am so loving the way she give it to me back to back.....

Anonymous 3

Hi T,

Am a lady and here's my take about the lady that left her man, the truth of the matter is, at one point in our life as a lady, the kind of friends or relationship we have play a large part in our life, am guessing the new guy she met woke her up and made her know,how special she is, and she compare the two relationship and had to follow the second one, which brings the best and growth in her....

Pls post this anonymously...
Thanks

These are some of the reviews, we received about the confused soul 2,

Here's my take, we are called human being for a reason, we all have likes and dislikes, my likes might be your poison or worst nightmare, likewise yours too.

The first anonymous is probably saying this because he has never been with one, or perhaps that is what he as a man is crazy about and want as a person.


The second anonymous, has tested and the kind of person he is , can't cope with one and had to leave to be with his kind of woman that gives him back to back like he said ( 😀) that's really funny Bros, what is back to back by the way?.. okay onto the next.

The last anonymous made lots of sense, the kind of people we mingle with play a massive part in our day to day lives and activities, I remember my mom always tells me to be mindful of people I move with, and this has helped me a lot, as a lady when going into a relationship, it's very good to study eachother, and learn everything about eachother, then take a seat back and reflect on your person and compare if you are fit together, yes we can't know about ourselves this is true, but the kind of communication you build between you guys, will make it's easier to know vital informations about each other...

Thank you so much for reaching out, till we next time, your girl is signing out


Xoxo temitope

For comment or addition, don't forget to send us a feedback
temmybuhnmy@gmail.com temmybuhnmy@outlook.com

Love you guys...

Confused soul 2

Hello guys!!!!

Another exciting day over here, it's been almost two month since I posted, and have been active through mails to those that sent in their mails.

I will be talking about the confused soul that needed an advice about his lady that turn his marriage proposal down .

The world is changing and whatever list, men looked for in ladies last 5-10years ago.

They are looking for the opposite of it now.

Usually, before men are crazy about a virgin lady for marriage, but recently have received lots of mails, where men are saying they want to break up with their virgin fiancé, because they need a wildcat lady, someone who knows what to do.

So the men out here presently are really complicated, and you need lot of patience, wisdom, and above all intelligence to match up to them as a lady..

So back to the guy that asked for an advice

1. The lady in question needed an exposure, she want to try all what she fancy and you happen to fit in her quest for that man that she want.

2. She never love you, yes that's so hard to absurd, but it's the truth, women are very extremely jealous when it's come to someone they love, and they can't and won't stand their men have another woman not to talk of her wooing a lady for you.

3. A lady that loves you, won't be comfortable with you trying or playing games with another lady.

She low key wanted all that and doesn't want  you to see her as someone that does that, and she has to strategies her scheme towards you and made you fall into it..

Since you needed my advice, am going to say it the way it is according to what you sent.

Let her go, because it was all a facade, all a fantasy, all a lie, and never met to be serious. it's hard to believe, but it's the truth, she has find something in that new guy which was lacked in yours and that's a commitment, and a family oriented goals, coupled with trust which was lacked in yours with hers.

She was or might be planning to break it to you, and probably didn't know how to go about it, which made her to stopped the attention she was giving to you before, thinking you might read between the lines.

Well Mr anonymous that's all the answer you needed, relationship is exciting and also serve as a lesson to know more about us as a person and to perfect it with our imperfections.


Thanks you so much Mr. Anonymous for sending in your mails.

For advice, and comments

Please forward your mail to temmybuhnmy@gmail.com
Or temmybuhnmy@outlook.com

I remain your loyal girl xoxo T Girl

Remember to kill everyone that has throw you hate speech with kindness..

CONFUSED SOUL

Hello guys,

It's another wonderful Wednesday and we should all be thankful for a wonderful life.

Saw this mail from someone and here's what it says.

Hi Bunmi, 

Great job, you are doing, am in an open relationship with this amazing lady, we've been together for 3,yrs now, and in the cause of dating we've both dated two different people and recently have been thinking, like am not getting younger again, need to settle down, I have all what I need, am okay financially and as an only son my parents are on my neck to bring in a wife so it kind of that.

I love my girl she gives me the freedom I want, she's understanding and nice, I know it kind of crazy to date other people and both know about it, we even joke about it 

We are both cool with that find out she's been advoiding me lately, is either she's busy at work, or not around or stuffs like that I got tired of her attitude and asked her to tell me whatever is going on then she break the ice.

She said she's tired and doesn't want to be in an open relationship again she needed a more committed one, I smiled when she said this, and said am tired of it too, I asked her to marry me, she was shocked and asked  for some days to think it through, after two days she replied that she want to start afresh that I will always use the eyes of her past to judge her that it's better to be with someone new and forged ahead, she said I won't ever trust her, I love her so much, and have tried everything I could think of, she won't just accept the ring, your advice is needed please.

PS:- she was the one that suggested the open relationship then I didn't, she said I can try new relationship  instead of cheating, as long as she knows about it and I should never be carried away, she tells me when to stopped and likewise  i too, I bugged her line without her knowing the two guys she met it never passed lunch because I read her chat and messages without her knowing and am proud to say in three years am the only guy  she get down with, I never ever told her I bugged her line I know she's a good lady and that's why I can't let go pls advice.

Thanks..

Answer 

Wow am so speechless this is a critical request that require an intelligent answer I will be back to give my advice on this

Thanks guys 

Happy Eid

Hello bunmi,

Great job, you are doing,  so am not here to talk about any relationship, am just here for me, so I work together with this lady, and it's been so tiring, apparently she's always looking for my trouble.

And have tired avoiding her times without numbers, by facing my job squarely but she always seems to find her way back to me e.g by borrowing, once she noticed I start ignoring her and facing my job, she start with borrow my stuffs and through that she start talking with me, and after that she start her issues again, honestly am fed up.

And I need an advices thanks...


Advice

Dear Tola,

Trust me have been there, and I know what you are passing through, here's my advice be friendly towards work only, like work together as a team.

And don't get familiar with her, once she comes with her borrowing method to start getting personal with you.

Tell her you do not have whatever she want to borrow even if you have, because people like that can't change and trust me it's not worth draining your energy for.

You can't leave your job for her, so you need wisdom to work with her and that's be professional only.

Once she asked for one thing today and you said no, and after some days she asked for it again and you still maintain your No, she will stay on her lane .

I wish you well there and don't forget to give feedback regarding this and lets know if this works or not.


temmybuhnmy@gmail.com

When love Turn Sour 2

Hello guys,

It another exciting day, happy wonderful month to us all..

So I received alot of mails regarding why once madly in love lovers turn enemies.

Here's my take on this?

 Communication barrier :-

When there is no efficient communication between partners, especially when one of them start bottling things up in his/her chest, which will then result to not trusting.

Falling out of  love:-

The  truth is we all fall out of love, but when we think of the time, effort, and enegy, we put in the relationship then we start to fall back in love with our partner again.

Listening to side talk :- wether we likes it or not, we do have friend-enemies those type of friends that do not want us to be happy, or that tend to spoil beautiful things.

Not being patience enough:- most times when our lovers doesn't have time for us, we tend to think they are cheating, which are usually not true.

hey bro or sis, our world is not revolve around men or women, sometimes we just want to be alone and think or shut ourselves up for days and when this happen, we start having funny thought and then when the other partner didn't give enough explaination due to the fact that he/she is angry that u didn't trust them enough, then we start trying to get a revenge by going for dinner with anyone that Is available at that moment which is totally wrong.

How to stop these.

Am just going to talk about the two words which are very important.

Trust trust !trust learn to trust your partner, no matter what you hear, never  believe whatever they tell you untill you caught them red handed.

Communication and patience:- communicate and be patience with them, when you see or noticed something's call their attention to it and talk about it,

And above all love and love and keep loving your partner, no relationship is easy, but the total of hard work you input makes its works out ...



We want feedback so don't forget to get back to us.
Love from me to you..
temmybuhnmy@gmail.com...

When Love Turn Sour

Hello guys,

How are you all doing? I miss you all so much,  and am so sorry for not be regular with my post.

  No excuses honestly and am sorry.

So I read a story about a lady that rejected her fiance proposal, and the guy in question list all what he did for her , for the  past 4year they were together  asking for a refund of all what he has spend on her.

In as much as I find this funny, many guys are doing this and I kept thinking.

If people who were once crazy about each other suddenly don't want to see eye to eye ball, they suddenly hate eachother  breathe what could have trigger this.

I mean love is a beautiful thing and it's a forever thing, so what happened?

Send us a mail if you or anyone around u Has experience this and lets know how it was resolved..

Till we meet again temmybuhnmy@gmail.com


Love you all

Love yourself

Dear Anonymous,

i promised to get back and here Iam, all i see in your write up is a lady that lacks self esteem . (so sorry for being blunt).

Dear you can't give what you don't have.

You don't love yourself enough, that why you keep subjecting yourself to paying for meals, doing what your boyfriend's were meant to be doing.

Don't get me wrong am not saying it's bad for a lady to treat her man out.

But when it's become a daily routine then my dear, it's either you are with the wrong person or you feel if you leave no one else will come.

 You then try doing everything to please the guy, and guess what !!

The guy will still go, because you are too easy for him,

Nothing exciting about you, you are so predictable.

You need to love yourself,

Motivate yourself,

Be confidence

Have that feeling like am a queen and should be treated like one.

Allow your next relationship to breath.

Give your men their space,

Wait for them to ask you out, stop jumping the table.

Give your self dignity.

Above all pray and pray and keep praying for guidance.

God be with you

We need feedback from our readers , send mail to us at temmybuhnmy@gmail.com, temmybuhnmy@outlook.com

Till we meet again, yes i love you, i mean you

IS THIS NORMAL

Hello guys,

This is an exciting weekend for you all I guess, because I'm  having a blast of it.

I got a mail from an anonymous and here's what she has to say.

Hello Bunmi,

Thank you so much for this platform, it has helped greatly.

Am having a little problem here and I think you might helped out.

Have always been the only one in any relationship I find myself.

Am usually calling first

Buying gifts

Remembering our relationship anniversary

Suggesting outing

And all that and yet they usually leave or some even do on and off ( where by this month they are serious next month they are not). I'm the one forcing and all that.

Bunmi am really confused, i don't want to enter this new year with that mind set I know something is not normal about my relationship, but I find it so hard to open up  to friends because they see me as this big girl type and telling them is somehow and it's better to tell an outsider that will be blunt with the advice than people I'm close to.

I will be expecting your advice thanks so much.

Dear anonymous,

Thank you so much for trusting me and I promise to be back for advice on this and trust me dear it's will be loud.

Dear readers you are free to send in your advice , if this were to be a friend or sister what type of advice will you render to her?

Send your feedback to

temmybuhnmy@gmail.com

temmybuhnmy@outlook.com

Those that has been sending mails as a way of encouragement thank you so much I really appreciate it all and I love you all , you all know that right?

Signing out

Bunmi temitope